Manchester's passages and lanes buzz with stories yet to be told and whisper tales of old and while the red-brick faƧades overshadow these streets, they keep watch over our city's dynamic heartbeats.
Much like this city, my journey through life and the tech industry has been defined by contrasts, excitement and revelations. Each of them enlivened by the culture and energy that drives our metropolis.
Iāve walked andĀ stumbledĀ many times in the shadows between these brick giants and itās where my career has taken itās shape. Today, as the city blooms in technological advancements, I take the form of a technical innovation consultant, founder and entrepreneur. I weave digital dreams for Manchester and beyond.
But my "neurodivergent thinking", if you will, makes me stand out like a hammer-smashed thumb at times. I live withĀ autismĀ andĀ ADHD, two facets of me I only came to understand in my 30's.
Ā
Manchester's bricks, uniform at first glance, reveal their individual tales to those who choose to look deeper. After leaving the comfort of my familial home, my early 20s felt akin to this faƧade. A relentless fidgeting energy, an inability to self-sooth, a ceaseless bout of insomnia and an ever-present sense of difference - these were my silent battles.
While the world hummed at one frequency, my rhythm and vibration was seemingly out of sync. I couldnāt stop delving into the āwhyā and pursuing answers that made sense to me.
Iād spent the past 15 years helping others to build the internet in datacentres that were being fabricated at the Science Park and itās surrounding areas. I had helped E-commerce giants, universities, governments and individuals to make the best-use of cutting-edge technology and to land comfortably when we pushed the limits of possible just aĀ touch too far.
Ā
Ā
I pushed myself to theĀ breaking-pointĀ consistently but oftenĀ failed to prepare the same soft landingĀ for myself that I had so easily provided for others.
The change of routine at the start of the pandemic for me and many others brought about about a spiral of depression, isolation and loss.
(trigger warning:Ā reference to self-harm)Ā At 32, amidst the drone of Manchester's growing tech pulse, I embarked on a costly and exhausting diagnostic journey, one necessitated by my declining mental health, grief-filled trauma from the suicide of a friend and a constant self-observation of difference from my peers. The climax and treatment of this, through therapies, medications and support, brought a profound clarity to me. A revelation worth its weight in gold.
Much like trying to understanding the make-up of each brick in Manchesterās walls, having my autism and ADHD officially observed and ālabelledā, allowed me to feel seen and to truly see myself.
Ā
Ā
Manchester has watched me evolve, create, and sometimes falter. But I sought diagnosis and help, not through a desire to find a fix, or a cure, but to enable me to make better sense of my own sense of self-worth. To accept and explain my neurodivergent behaviours to others, so that I could embrace my potential and understand more about my motivators, failures and my successes.
Ā
Iām aĀ care-giver, aĀ solution-providerĀ andĀ pattern-recogniser. I see things in an instant that others only discover after implementing ill-considered ideals.
My partner calls this myĀ super-power, but until I was able to articulate why my necessity to sometimes disrupt others ways and their ways of thinking, I often felt this to be aĀ curse. However, with understanding came new challenges.
Ā
Just as every brick faces the external elements of the earth and itās atmosphere, I too had to navigate societal misunderstandings and the faux-pas that others find novel or annoying.
There's a pervasive stigma attached to the neurodivergent. Some see ADHD and autism and immediately think "incapable", "distractible", ādisabledā, or "lazy". But if Manchester's brick walls could talk, theyād scream the names of inventors, advocates and pioneers that dared to do and to think differently. For centuries disruptors of the norm have built their foundations in the greater area and cemented themselves in the history of time as architects and idols. In the modern workplaces of Manchester, I've felt the echoes of this misunderstanding.
Ā
For many businesses, the blueprint hasnāt evolved enough yet to comfortably accommodate neurodivergent employees. But just like those faux-brick faƧades that now adorn modern buildings, the decay needed to first be uncovered. The rot of what remains will soon be repaired and the crusty old parts that are left will be converted into contemporary designs, capable of being adapted to celebrate and embrace differences of all kinds.
Much like those weathered walls though, the exterior appearance of a building doesnāt define the potential for what is within them. Similarly a persons neurodivergence doesnāt define their potential; it shapes our perspective and allows us to provide alternative purpose, or room for new ideas to flourish.
Today, as I tread my own path as a self-employed innovator, challenges persist. The grout of financial security feels shaky beneath my feet sometimes. But, amidst this uncertainty comes with it a sense of purpose and dare I say pride? My wellbeing continues to harden. Iāve constructed a method of living tailored to my rhythm, one which allows creativity and ideas to be manifested. Iāve found time to think and I have also found focus to do the things that Iāve felt were important. Iāve found clarity and most importantly, Iāve found hope.
Ā
I havenāt cracked the code completely just yet. But Iāve spent countless hours documenting it, raising issues, building new features and striving to create the ideal user experience. But whilst things arenāt perfect yet, I hope my comments and commitments can serve as as a beacon for others on a similar journey.
In the same way that Manchesterās skyline has transformed at an accelerated speed these past few years, those concrete greenhouses now rise amidst the histories, futures, and dreams of thousands of others just like me. Manchesterās brickwork stands as a testament to our cityās enduring spirit.
Regardless your colour, be it red, blue or any other we provide respite to all.
Your journey, like the intricate patterns in Manchesterās brick walls, is unique and valuable.Ā Thereās a place for you hereĀ regardless of your shape or stature. Itās a place of opportunity for allĀ and youāre welcome any time.
If you, too, feel out of step with the world sometimes, remember youāre not alone. Organisations like theĀ National Autistic SocietyĀ and theĀ ADHD FoundationĀ exist as signposts and services such asĀ Access2WorkĀ enable businesses and individuals to better support others in their workplace.